Have you ever noticed that when
you're suffering from low confidence
or bruised self-esteem, you don't
REALLY know why?

Of course you have.

There you are, a nice, loving,
intelligent person -- successful
in so many ways -- and yet some
days you feel is isolated, restless,
even oddly depressed...for no reason
that seems obvious?

I remember being there,
feeling low or de-motivated,
but having no idea why or
how to snap myself out of it.

So I'd stuff this feeling down
and get going with my day,
immersing myself in work
or any other productive
activity that would take
my mind off my malaise.

Sort of a 'Fake 'it till
you make it' approach that
all the motivational books
suggest.

If I was really in bad shape,
I'd get out the affirmations,
the positive thinking, or the
law of attraction and try to crank
myself into a hyper-positive,
"I'm calm, confident, and
cheerful" state.

Exhausting.

The most frustrating thing
I remember was how fast
my 'positive mindset' would
fade the second I stopped
trying to manipulate myself into
feeling better.

On some level, I knew that
fighting myself was kind of
silly, but after years of
reading self-help books that
told me I was creating my own
fears and negativity, questioning
myself had become second nature.

And the worst thing was,
Pretending I was confident,
happy, and cheerful all
the time kept my confidence
from truly expanding.

I didn't know how to grow
real confidence and self-esteem
a little more each day, because I
didn't have a GENUINE
relationship with myself.

And then I woke up.

I realized my entire approach
for trying to build confidence
and self-esteem had been a
mistake.

Self-confidence does not
come from lying...to yourself
or anyone else.

So why is it so hard to get
to the truth? To figure out
what's making us feel insecure
or depressed...and fix it?

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple...

If you peel back the curtain
and are brutally honest with yourself,
you will see that behind every low
confidence moment is fear.

It may be fear of rejection,
fear of a career change,
survival fear (money worries),
fear of failing, fear of being alone,
fear of not being good enough,
fear of aging, or something else.

The list of what we fear is endless.

Fear, however, is not the problem.

The problem is we've been taught
that the best way to deal with fear
is to avoid it.

Virtually every person socialized
in Western culture is a master at
suppressing his fears.

When you suppress fear, you
push it outside your awareness
and refuse to think about it.
It's the stiff upper lip approach
to life.

We tell ourselves to 'get over'
our fears, not let others
'get to us', and that fear
is a sign of weakness.

We may even take pride in
avoiding our fears this way,
believing that mental toughness
means never feeling unhappy.

Or, if we seek help, we
unwittingly use this help
to continue suppressing
our fears.

We ask doctors to prescribe
anti-depressants to cover
up our anxiety. We use self-
help such as positive thinking
and meditation to manipulate
ourselves into avoiding fear.
We go to therapists and talk
about our fears instead of
dealing with them directly.

Of course, the most obvious
way of suppressing fear is
through addictions: over-smoking,
over-drinking, over-spending,
over-eating, over-working,
over-watching TV...the list is long.

The lure of suppression is very
tempting. At first, it seems
to be the answer--since your
fear is not in your conscious
awareness, you mistakenly believe
it's gone.

This is a grave mistake.

When you suppress your fears,
you drain yourself of
confidence without even
realizing it.

Here's why:

Confidence is believing in
yourself at a profound level.

To be confident, you must
be able to trust your mind.

Specifically, you must trust
that your mind can solve
your personal challenges and
help you attain your deepest
desires.*

What challenges, you ask?

The everyday challenges that
strike fear in our hearts
because they threaten our
goals and dreams:

Your retirement savings are cut
in half by the market crash...

Your husband is selfish. He
won't take you to the symphony,
even though you learned to ski
for him...

Your hockey coach buries you
on the fourth line...

You hate your day job...

Your elderly mother expects you
to take care of her every day,
no matter what...

Your girlfriend tells you she
needs space...

Your small business is
floundering from poor sales...

Your wife withholds sex...

Your weight is rising, and
you feel out of control.

If you don't pay attention
to your fears when they erupt--
and suppress them instead, you are
hiding your problems from yourself.

You are saying, "I am better off
avoiding my fear, because this
is a problem I cannot handle."

Like physical pain, fear
is a sophisticated warning
system telling you that
something is very wrong.

Your mind is your basic tool of
survival. Betray your mind by
ignoring your problems, and
your confidence and self-esteem
naturally suffer.**

If you continually suppress
your fears, not only will your
confidence take a hit, but you'll
be depressed, too. Depression is
the condition of having suppressed
fear. This is because the only way
you can suppress fear is to mute
your entire feeling function,
making you de-motivated and
depressed.

There Is A Better Way

There is a better way to
build confidence and high
self-esteem.

You start by discovering the
root cause of your fear.

Like a doctor, you must diagnose
what you're afraid of
BEFORE you can prescribe
a solution.

Example: maybe your current
life challenge is that you
need money...and you are filled
with survival fear.

But WHY do you need money?

Is it because you fear rejection
and aren't making sales calls?

Is it because you're stuck
in a career rut and are afraid
to learn new, higher paying
skills?

Is it because your business
does not have the right
marketing methods?

Is it because you lack financial
literacy and don't know how
to negotiate mortgages, taxes,
and investments?

Is it because you're unconscious
with money and spend beyond
your means?

When it comes to money,
exactly what do you feel
helpless about?

If you listen to your fears,
you can 'peel the onion'
of your inner self and
discover exactly what you
feel helpless about--what
you FEAR--inside your life
problem.

Of course, awareness is not
enough. You still have to solve
the problem in front of you.

As long as this problem
is in your life, it will scare
you, because it's threatening
your desires.

Genuine confidence and self-esteem
comes from facing your fears AND
making good decisions that help
you defeat your challenges--every day.

Both things help you trust your mind.

And the more you trust your
mind, the more confident you become.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa Lane Brown, M.A.
Author, The Courage to Win

PS: This week I have room for
two more people in my Private
Coaching Consultation Program.

I've set aside a limited number of
sessions to work privately with a handful
of you who want to schedule
two highly focused, 50 minute
individual consultations.

It will cost you two payments of $200.
Frankly, you will endure some surprises,
and maybe even some emotional discomfort
at first. In all probability, you'll
uncover a fear in relationships, money,
or career that has been creating
underachievement in your life for
a very long time.

On the other hand, you will have
the rare privilege--and heavenly
relief--of dismantling your fear and
creating an exciting new future.

Whatever your sights--whether you
want to get a promotion, make more money,
get someone to pursue you for love and
affection, get fit, or simply
to build self-confidence, you will
be able to make your goal a reality
with your new-found mental toughness.

More importantly, you'll know
exactly how to quickly and easily
eliminate common tragedies from
your life such as depression,
procrastination, love pain,
career underachievement, and
money stress.

How do I know with unequivocal
certainty that these two
sessions will absolutely
provide you with the clarity,
confidence, and expert guidance
you need?

Simple.

I only accept clients who I
know will succeed using my
coaching...clients whose
challenges are 100% rooted in
lack of mental toughness training.

For example, most people are
are not reaching their potential
due to one of the following
three factors:

1. They lack focus.
Most people are overwhelmed,
--either by fear or pressure
from others--to decide what
they really want and go after it.

2. They lack confidence.
Building confidence and self-esteem
seems like it should be easy. But
positive thinking is exhausting,
therapy is even slower, and
mastering fear is a whole lot
harder than it should be. Plus,
while there are some powerful
techniques out there for
building confidence (such as
affirmations and positive thinking),
most people are using them
incorrectly. Used incorrectly,
these techniques will pump
you up temporarily, but the
moment you stop using them,
your fear and procrastination
come back. To really make
progress with your confidence,
you need to cure the root
cause of your fear.

3. They've never been taught
the simple, yet powerful
techniques for getting what
they want from relationships.
There are proven, foolproof
ways for getting people to pursue
you for love and affection, for
motivating people to complete tasks
and home and work, for selling
products and services, and for saying
no without arousing hostility.
But if you don't know them,
you'll continue to feel taken
for granted and secretly
resentful.

If any of these describes you,
and you want a complete, individualized
road map for mental toughness and
success given your unique background,
circumstances, and personal experiences...
spelling out exactly what to do
(and when) in the next 30 days--
today I have good news for you.

If you apply for (and are accepted)
to participate in these two sessions
with me, I'll detail the exact steps
needed to achieve the most pressing
goal you've set for yourself.

By the time we're through, you'll
have a customized, fully developed
blueprint for taking your career,
relationship, or finances to the next
level.

But our time together won't just
begin on the phone.

Before we meet, I'll review your goals,
your background, your fears, and
current challenges through a focused
questionnaire and assessment
I'll send you.

And only then will we talk on the phone.

Once we're on the phone, I'll expertly
diagnose the inner barriers to success
you've been experiencing - and teach you
how to do this for yourself in the future.
I'll recommend the blueprint for action
you need to take to achieve the 30 day
goal you'll set for yourself.

After your two sessions are complete,
you will be given access to my private
and confidential email address in case
you need further clarification, quick
coaching, or moral support as you
move forward -- your 'safety net'
in case you encounter an unexpected
roadblock.

I'll do all this -- plus I'll include a
complimentary copy of my Courage to Win
softcover book - a $24.95 value -
gratus. It's yours as my gift so you
can continually refine your mental
toughness skills when faced with new
life challenges.

If you have a goal you're not
acting on -- let's say you want
to double your income in the next
12 months but can't possibly see
how to do it given your current
job and economic conditions --
then you might be risking alot
more than you think by waiting.

If you make a plan NOW for exactly
how you're going to dramatically
increase your earning power and
take small steps each week towards
this goal--such as increasing
your technical knowledge, volunteering
for a high profile project, or
investing in real estate--you'll
be well on your way to doubling
your income in 12 months. If you
don't make a plan now, you'll
be in a very similar situation
12 months from now, only more
frustrated.

Creating and executing on your
plan now -- with a coach holding
you accountable -- could earn
you $20K, $30K, or more every
year for the rest of your life.

Not to mention: what would it
be worth to you to finally
learn the powerful, universal
lesson of how to take control
of any aspect of your life
and turn it around?

DO YOU HAVE TWO HOURS TO INVEST IN YOURAND SUCCESS?